"Truth: Yours, Mine, and the Truth"

Summary

The phrase "my truth" became popular in the 2010s, notably used by Oprah Winfrey to validate personal narratives and encourage storytelling. However, it has been misused to assert beliefs without factual basis, dismissing objective reality and stifling dialogue. This misuse contradicts the biblical commandment against bearing false witness, harming relationships and failing to love appropriately. God's commandments guide us toward peace and justice, and ignoring them perpetuates sin and suffering. Improvement requires focusing on intent, expressing perspectives constructively, and prioritizing future growth. Acknowledging sin and suffering, we should transform our thoughts and relationships to reflect God's will. True change requires active participation and correcting wrongs. We should aim to understand intentions, improve communication, and foster unity. Embracing humility and love leads to meaningful relationships. Reflect on whether you prioritize personal interpretations over God's will for unity and truth. Consider using "in my opinion" to encourage dialogue and compromise.

The Situation: How We Misuse "My Truth"

I just told you "my truth." You cannot reject "my truth." "You have your truth, and I have mine, so back up!" This phrase, along with many others similar to it, began to emerge prominently in popular culture during the 2010s. It arguably reached its apex in 2018 when a major television personality, known for her compelling storytelling and deep connection with audiences, used it as part of her narrative to articulate the complexities surrounding trauma and pain. Her intention was to convey her personal experiences as a survivor of some of the most severe forms of abuse and assault, emphasizing how these experiences shaped her perspective and emotional landscape. Her use of this phrase was not only compelling but also impactful, resonating with many who have faced similar challenges and felt the weight of their own truths. However, the subsequent appropriation and misuse of this phrase have led to significant harm and misunderstanding.

When Oprah Winfrey began to speak out about her experiences of surviving abuse, particularly in the context of racism, sexual assault, and various abuses of power, she aimed to create a platform that encouraged many individuals to share their own painful stories. Her objective was to highlight that such pain is not only valid but also carries profound meaning. It can lead to feelings of insecurity, a pervasive distrust in men—especially those who have been abusive—and the necessity to cultivate resilience in the face of trauma. Oprah's message was clear: although some may attempt to silence you, it is crucial to voice your experiences, as they are part of a broader historical narrative that cannot and should not be ignored. This was indeed a positive and empowering use of the term "my truth," as it served to uplift voices that had long been marginalized.

However, while Oprah and countless others are free to express themselves in whatever way they choose, I have observed a troubling trend in the misuse of the expression "my truth." This misuse has led me to urge individuals to reconsider its application in their discourse. Why is this? Because many people now seem to interpret "my truth" as a claim that if they believe something, then it must be true, regardless of whether it holds any factual basis. This interpretation fosters a dangerous mindset where individuals assert, "You believe what you want, and I will believe what I want," without regard for the objective reality that may exist outside their subjective experience. It is one thing when one's belief is rooted in historical fact, such as experiences of abuse or injustice. It becomes problematic, however, when individuals misinterpret statements or selectively interpret situations to fit their preconceived notions about others or circumstances. In this context, "my truth" can become a metaphorical prison: it establishes a rigid framework where one insists on their perspective without considering alternative viewpoints, effectively closing off any possibility for dialogue or understanding. This narrow interpretation can serve as a cultural justification for what is essentially "bearing false witness," a serious ethical violation that is highlighted in the ninth of the Ten Commandments.

The Theological Significance of Our Use of "My Truth"

To delve deeper into this concept, we turn to the Ten Commandments, a set of moral guidelines given by YHVH, or Yahweh, to Moses as a covenant that the people of Israel were to uphold in order to identify themselves as God's chosen people. The ninth commandment explicitly states, "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor" (Exodus 20:16). The original intent behind this commandment was to prohibit individuals from lying about others, particularly in the context of legal disputes. However, the broader application of this commandment extends to any form of slander, misrepresentation, or deceit regarding another person's actions or intentions. But why is this prohibition so critical? It can be traced back to the fundamental definition of sin that Jesus articulates in Matthew 22:36-40:

“Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” ³⁷ He said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the greatest and first commandment. ³⁹ And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

At the heart of this teaching is the notion that all sin can be summarized as a violation of love—whether that be failing to love God appropriately, failing to love one's neighbor appropriately, or failing to love oneself appropriately. Thus, bearing false witness is a direct affront to the principle of loving one's neighbor. If we consider that God's overarching role in the cosmos is to promote peace, justice, love, and service, then failing to love our neighbor properly can have dire consequences. In biblical times, such actions could literally threaten a neighbor's freedom or life. In contemporary society, the repercussions may manifest as damaged relationships, tarnished reputations, or a loss of peace of mind for those affected. Therefore, what God was conveying through these commandments is that adherence to such ethical guidelines would lead to a world that is less filled with strife and more abundant in goodness and harmony. While it may seem that bearing false witness could provide immediate gratification or benefit to someone, this is ultimately a delusion. Such actions can lead to harm for both the person bearing false witness and the individuals they misrepresent, while also reflecting poorly on the divine nature of God as the state of the world deteriorates further.

Now that we have examined the inherent dangers in the current usage of "your truth" or "my truth," it is essential to reflect on its implications: sin creates a legacy of negative impact. Simply clinging to beliefs that are detrimental or untrue can yield harmful consequences. Consider how you may have held onto a misinterpretation of someone or how you may have unjustly grouped individuals from a community based on preconceived notions or stereotypes they do not deserve. How has this mindset negatively impacted your life or the lives of those around you?

A Few Steps Toward Improvement

The first step is to ask, "What was intended?" Additionally, be willing to focus more on intent of the person than your perception. Yes, people can lie about their intention. It is also true, however, that people can adjust their beliefs or actions when they see how something was received or witness its impact on a situation. We are all works in progress, so consider sharing responsibility for the negative as both a possible misinterpretation and mis-delivery of intention.

Second, feel free to express how you take things given your mindset and context, so the person can hopefully adjust her or his delivery in the future. The person who may have mis-delivered should not be stubborn and say, "Well, you just have a bad understanding." Rather, he or she should be open to the possibility that the delivery could have been improved. Moreover, he/she/they should be able to admit they have just be wrong and now can both see why and deliver it better moving forward.

Third, value future over past. So many times we become locked on the "in part." Paul tell us in 1 Corinthians 13:9-12 that we all know, see, and do in part, but when Christ returns, we will know, see, and do in full. This is part of the Kingdom of God, when all of life reflects God's perfect will. Well, we are not there yet. The Kingdom of God, however, does have "now" moments, in which parts of it break through and make things better in addition to those "not yet" moments that we await. The "not yet" moments are what we know as the here and now, such as current suffering, death, discord and scorn, as well as other forms of pain and suffering. Two things should stand out: 1) We live in the "not yet" in which sin and suffering are pervasive, that is, widespread, but 2) God's Kingdom actively challenges and transforms sin and suffering, effectively reducing them and some day eliminating them altogether so that all of creation is whole and restored to perfection. We will not get there fully until Christ returns and does away with the source of sin and suffering, the enemy. Our goal, however, is two fold: 1) to acknowledge sin and suffering and God's decisive activity to overcome them, and 2) part of how God overcomes them is through the good work we do, including learning to interpret others correctly as well as owning our own vices that participate in causing sin and suffering.

As we do this, we should be careful to realize that we cannot change the world as an individual. We can, however, make a small impact where God has us stationed. When combined, those impacts from the billions of persons serving God are what change the world, that is, the collective actions of the Body of Christ in all of its diversity and contradictions. The combined actions do a lot to change the world through the power of Christ and God's Spirit. In short, although sin and suffering are real, our Christian responsibility is to be about challenging them, including within ourselves and partners without judgment and condemnation, but gentleness and openness as well as a willingness to see and celebrate positive change. So, in light of this blog, if we are willing to accept that we misunderstand each other, this gives the Kingdom of God an opportunity for a "now" moment to transform our thoughts and relationships, hopefully making them better. If we, however, cling to untrue and negative interpretations, we may inadvertently help maintain a sinful and suffering status quo.

Graciously, many of us did not understanding this, so now is an opportunity, not to feel ashamed, but to rejoice that we can more rightly work toward co-laboring with God to effectuate positive change. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, exists because we mess up. Yes, we need a savior because we mess up, so let us not be in denial and prideful and deny Christ the work he came to do, for Christ's mission was to help us move away from the ways of the world and toward the way of God and ultimately be saved. This is what it means to be Christian, to be "a little Christ," who is trying to work to do God's will, transforming the world little by little in the fellowship of other believers, fully knowing you may suffering for doing so, but knowing that suffering is not the end, for God can transform all suffering into a victory over the devices the enemy tries to use to convince us not to try. We do not make this salvation happen, for it is a gift granted by Christ's sacrifice and our willingness to accept that sacrifice. Rather than earn it, we demonstrate faithfulness to pursuing Christ's will both as evidence that we, indeed, have been changed/saved and to express gratitude for this salvation by spreading it and its positive works among the world. This positive work, includes the work Christ has done in us, including learning both to own when we are wrong and setting down the negative and untrue interpretations we maintain as "our truths." There is only one truth, and that is what God sees: we are all flawed and in need of saving, so let be open to the growth and transformation of others as well as ourselves. For, in the end, love and godliness will prevail, and sin will fail.

Conclusion

All in all, we should strive to know what was intended, how to work toward a better delivery, and see how we can remain united and try to move forward. This is not easy, for true humility admits that all of us need to adjust to grow. It is, however, our duty to try to make things better, for in so doing, we move closer to the abundant life promised in John 10:10, which is less about wealth and prosperity and more about right relationships, meaningful existence, total health, true unity, and abundant joy and happiness. Think about it: how many times have you had a heart to heart with someone in which both you gave a little," and you walked away feeling better? If you are full of self-pity, chance are you were more annoyed that it took all of that versus relieved that you are past that hurdle. If you are full of humility and unconditional love, you likely wanted to cry or embrace the person out of relief that you are not as strained as before.

Let us take time this week to reflect on whether we are more interested in clinging to our own interpretation of something regardless of how it negatively impacts our situation. Or, are we truly more interested in God's will bringing understanding, true truth, and unity toward our situations, making them better and less painful and contentious. Maybe, the suffering we see has less to do with the weakness of God, and God's ability to bring about change, and more the fact that God's people often do not follow the commandments that God has issued. Like it or not, God does not just control persons. Rather, God influences situations. It is up to us whether we will see the right influences and be backers of them rather than stand passively, hoping for some mystical feeling to change our hearts to get us to do better. True change comes about when men and women seize the moment to be about it rather than hope that someone else will do something or even some mystical feeling/compulsion will compel them to do something. True change is not dependent on feelings, for feelings are fickle and not necessarily right. True change, is about a principle of doing the right thing because it is right and owning when we negatively contributed to or benefitted from the wrong and, therefore, definitely have a role to heal what was hurt.

Perhaps, it would be better to drop the phrase, "my truth" and return to something older and more time-tested: "in my option" or "I think" or "I believe." My truth, like it or not, assumes that what we are saying is "the truth," so how can anyone challenge it. No wonder it is so challenging to find compromise? Simply put, by stating that something is the truth, it is too firm and immoveable. Consequentially, it is no surprise we are rarely willing to deviate from it. What do you think?